Happiness By The Killowatt

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Happiness By The Killowatt
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Date:	2006-07-30 14:47
Subject:	DEAR VIEWER.
Security:	Public

I love it when people stalk me. And read everything I write. Like i'm a god, and this is the bible.

I love it that I can write shit that I don't mean about someone completely irrelevant and that people can direct it at themselves. Maybe it makes them feel special to think that I actually give a shit about them. Maybe they just want to highlight and dramatise everything. Maybe they need to stop tracking me and realise how sad this all is.

I can't believe how angry I am. I hate this sort of this. I hate having to deal with problems.

How stupid of me to think I could write my immature thoughts on a fucking website and not be tracked by people.

I'd like to point out, that I never actually mean anything I say on this thing. As i'm usually angry or pissed off which fuels me to write whatever I feel like. Much like now. But whatever. It's you're life. Just makes you a bit of a loser really....

KEEP READING! MAYBE I'LL WRITE SOMETHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN TWIST TO SUIT YOUR SITUATION!

7 comments | post a comment

Date:	2006-07-17 23:54
Subject:	THIS IS SCREAMING PHOTO OP....
Security:	Public

I thought I'd list all the bands on my iPod! Just for fun =].

The List

#
!!!(Chk Chk Chk)
112
2Pac
50 Cent
50 Cent Feat. Olivea
65 Days of Static

A
A New Found Glory
Aerosmith
Aimee Mann
Alanis Morissette
Alexisonfire
Ali G
The All American Rejects
Amerie
Angel City Feat. Lara McAllen
Ann Lee
Anti-Flag
Aphex Twin
Aphrodite
Arctic Monkeys
Armand Van Helden feat. Tara McDonald
Artful Dodger
Artful Dodger & Craig David
At The Drive-In
ATB
Athlete
Atomic Kitten
The Audition
The Automatic

B
B*Witched
Baby Bash
The Bangles
Basement Jaxx
Be Your Own Pet
The Beach Boys
Beat Freaks
Beauty & The Beast
Benny Benassi
Benny Page
The Beta Band
Beyonce
Big D & The Kids Table
Billy Talent
Black Eyed Peas
Blackalicious
Blink 182
Bloc Party
Blood Brothers
Blur
Bob Marley
Body Rockers
Bonnie Tylar
Boogie Pimps
Bowling For Soup
Box Car Racer
Bran Van 3000
Brand New
Brandy
Bright Eyes
Britney Spears
Bryan Adams
Busta Rhymes
Busted

C
Caesars
Capdown
Chante Moore
Chicane Feat. Tom Jones
Christina Aguilera
Christina Milian
City And Colour
City High
Clor
Coheed & Cambria
Coldplay
Counting Crows
Crazy Town
Cyndi Lauper

D
D12
Daft Punk
Damien Rice
Daniel Bedingfiled
Darude
Dashboard Confessional
David Gray
Death Cab For Cutie
Death From Above 1979
Delta Goodrem
Des'Ree
Destiny's Child
Dido
Dillinja Feat MC Skibadee
Dixie Chicks
DJ Andy C
DJ Andy C & Shimon
DJ Andy C vs. Fresh
DJ Clipse
DJ Dee Kline
DJ Hype
DJ Hype and MC Skibadee
DJ Jamay
DJ Jurgen Presents Alice Deejay
DJ Krissy
DJ Luck & MC Neat
DJ Marky
DJ Marky & XRS feat Staminda MC
DJ Oxide & MC Neutrino
DJ Pulse
DJ Rankin
DJ Rankin feat. Ultrabeat
DJ Sammy
Dj SS & Stevie Hyper
DJ Tiesto
DJ Zinc
DMX feat. JHM
Donovab Frankenreiter
Donna Lewis
Dr Dre
Drumsound And Baseline Smith

E
Eagle Eye Cherry
The Eagles
The Early November
Editors
The Egg
Electric Six
Elton John
Eminem
Enrique Iglesias
Enter Shikai
Epcot
Eric Prydz
The Exploding Hearts

F
Fabulous
The Fall Of Troy
Fall Out Boy
Fat Joe ft. Ashanti
Fatman Scoop
Feeder
The Feeling
FM Static
Four Seasons
Fragma
Freeloaders feat. The Real Thing
From First To Last
Frou Frou
Fun Loving Criminals
Funeral For A Friend

G
G-Unit
G.Love & Special Sauce
The Game
George Michael
Giant Drag
Gin Blossoms
Gina G
Girls Aloud
Glamma Kid
Gnarls Barkley
Goldfinger
Goo Goo Dolls
Gorillaz
Gouryella
Graham Coxon
Green Day
Gwen Stefani

H
Hard-Fi
Hawthorne Heights
Head Automatica
Hellogoodbye
Help! She Can't Swim
High Contrast
Hoku
Holly Valance
Hondo Maclean
Hot Chip
Houston Calls
Hundred Reasons
The Hush Sound

I
Ian Van Dahl
IIO
Imogen Heap
Incubus
Infernal
InMe

J
Jack Johnson
Jaimeson
Jamelia
James Blunt
Jamiroquai
Janet Jackson
Jay-Z
Jay Z ft Linkin Park
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Page
Jesse McCartney & Sara Paxton
Jimmy Eat World
Johnny Nash
Johnny Truant
Jose Gonzalez
June
Jungle Brothers
Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake & 50 Cent

K
Kaiser Cheifs
Kanye West
Kasabian
Kelis
Kelis Feat Andre 3000
Kelly Clarkson
Kevin Little
The Killers
Kooks
Kylie Minogue
Kylie Minogue & Robbie Williams

L
The La's
Lamb
Lasgo
LCD Soundsystem
LeAnn Rimes
Len
Lene Marlin
LFO
Lighthouse Family
Linkin Park
Lion King
Lionel Richie
The Little Mermaid
LL Cool J
LMC vs U2
London Electricity
Lostprophets
Ludacris
Lumidee
Luther Vandross
Lydia
Lynard Skynard

M
Madness
Madonna
Mae
Magic Kingdom
The Magic Numbers
Manic Street Preachers
Mariah Carey
Mario
Maroon 5
Marques Houston
The Mars Volta
Mattafix
Maximo Park
MC Lars
Meg & Dia
MGM
Michael Andres feat Gary Jules
Michael Gray
Michelle Branch
Mindless Self-Indulgence
Minus The Bear
Missy Elliot
The Moldy Peaches
Moneen
Morning Runner
Motion City Soundtrack
Moulin Rouge
Mount Sims
Mousse T & Emma Lanford
Muse
My Chemical Romance

N
N-Trance
N*E*R*D
Natile Imbruglia
Nelly
Nelly Furtado
Neon Blonde
Nikkie S & Nyke
Nine Inch Nails
Nirvana
Nsync ft Nelly
The Number 12 Looks Like You
NWA

O
Oasis
Obie Trice
Offspring
OK Go
Olive
OMC
Once Over
The Ones
OPM
Orbital
The Ordinary Boys vs Lady Sovereign
The Ordinary Boys
Orson
Outkast

P</b>
Panic! At The Disco
Paramore
Paul Oakenfold
Pen.Knife.Love.Life
Pendulum
Peter Pan
Phantom Planet
Pharrell
Phill Collins
Pink
Pixies
Placebo
Plan B
Plummet
Pocahontas
POD
The Postal Service
PPK
Prince
The Prodigy
Puretone
The Pussycat Dolls

R
R Kelly
Radiohead
The Rakes
Ramina Johnson/The Artful Dodger
Razorlight
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Reel Big Fish
Regina Spektor
Rihanna
Rise Against
Robbie Williams
The Rocket Summer
Ronan Keating
Roni Size
Room 5

S
S Club 7
Samantha Mumba
Saosin
Savage Garden
Scissor Sisters
Scooter
Sean Paul
Sean Paul ft Sasha
Secondhand Serenade
Semisonic
Shaggy
Shakira
Shakira ft Wyclef Jean
Shania Twain
Shanks & Bigfoot
Shapeshifters
She Wants Revenge
Shimon
Shola Ama
Shy FX
Shy FX & T Power
Shy FX & Uk Apache
Sikth
Simply Red
Sisqo
Skibadee
The Smiths
Snow Patrol
Snow Patrol feat Martha Wainwright
Sonique
The Spill Canvas
Stacey Q
The Starting Line
Stereophonics
Sting
Story Of The Year
Subfocus
Sufjan Stevens
Sugarcult
Sum 41
Summerland
Sweet Female Attitude

T
T.I
Take That
Taking Back Sunday
Tarzan
TaTu
Tenacious D
Test Icicles
Texas
Thirsty Merc
Thursday
Tina Turner
Tono Yayo feat 50 Cent
Total Science
Toy Story
Tracy Chapman
Transplants
Twista

U
UB40
Ufo
Ultrabeat
UnderOATH
Uniting Nations
The Used
Usher
Usher Feat Lil Jon and Ludacris

V
vengaboys
The Verve

W
Wannadies
We Are Scientists
Wham
Whetus
Whigfield
Will Smith
Wilson Pickett
Working Title
The Wreckers

X
X-Press 2
XTM & DJ Chucky Presents Anna

Y
Yellowcard

2 comments | post a comment

Date:	2006-07-16 21:08
Subject:	I wouldn't be caught dead in this place.
Security:	Public
Mood:	gloomy

I've been waiting for a good day, i've been holding back long enough, i've been hurting to tell you somethings. It's not the falling of the temperatrue thats making all our bones run cold it's the breeze you make, the presence felt when your around me. And it feels like i'm at an all time low. Slightly bruised and broken from our head on collision, I've never seen this side of you, another tragic case of feeling bruised and broken. It's just not what you say to people and it's not the way you look at me, it's the way you present yourself for all your worst critics to see.

We write to apologise. Embers, we're burning bridges down, envelopes stuffed with feelings found.

One last call to answer feeling full of despair, dont think I can't get through it, just one last prayer, and it's a leap of faith when you beleive that someones out there. When i call out to you will you be right there. Searching for the answer, nobody seems to care, and now i wish that you were here beside me to wipe away my tears. I remember when you told me i could trust in you.

And thats about the time she walked away from me, nobody likes you when your 23.

Ecstacy is all you need living in the big machine now, oh you're so vain. And i'm aware, i'm in love but you dont care. Turn your anger into lust, I'm still here but you dont trust at all, and ill be waiting. Love and sex and lonliness, take whats yours and leave the rest so i'll survive, god it's good to be alive. I'm torn in pieces, im blind and waiting for, my heart is reeling, im blind and waiting for you. What you fear is your desire it's hard to deal, i still love the way you feel. Now this angry little girl drowining in this petty world. Swallow all your bitter pills thats what makes you beautiful. You're all or not but i dont need what you ain't got.

Ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me.

To my favourite liar, to my favourite score. I could have died with you. I hope you choke on those words that kissed that bottle confess. Now ask yourself yeah out on the inside i said i loved you but i lied. Lets play this game called "when you catch fire" i wouldnt piss to put you out. Stop burning bridges and drive off them, so i can forget about you. So bury me in memory his smiles your own, so wrap it tight around your throat. Breaking hearts has never looked so cool.

These are the things i think about when im alone without you. Hope like hell youre happy where you are. You used to say that youre just fine, but i still wonder all the time. And know i say that im just fine, but i hope you wonder from time to time.

Tell all my friends i'm dead, i'm leaving you, this time it's for good, tell all my friends that im dead it wont be long before you forget my name.

Never understood how he could mean so little to so many, why does he mean everything to me. Is it worth the pain, with noone to blame, for all of my insecurities how did i ever let you go. Question in his good intention, jealousy's a bad invention. The more you squeeze the more it slips away.

The way you are away out far we've had our past i hope it lasts i love you though this love can grow we've reached our peak we're strong not weak. Don't leave me hanging cuz you know what im feeling i go crazy i go crazy.

My bodies broken yours is bent. Carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed i lie here charmed,cuz theres nothing else to do, every me and every you. In the shape of things to come, too much poison come undone. Pucker up for heavens sake, theres never been so much at stake. Something borrowed something blue every me and every you.

I do hope you've learned a lesson. Whats your problem can't you see it, and you go and blow it like everyone knows you will.

Smile like you mean it. Change your ways while you're young. Boy one day you'll be a man, oh girl, he'll help you understand.

Dear jamie, i've got a letter i would like to send, it's lacking strings of words with punctuation at the end, but should i trust this dialect, to convey the right effect.

You dont need this disease you dont.

You've got this new head filled up with smoke and ive got my veins all tangled close to the juke box. A long night spent with your most obvious weakness you start shaking at the thought, you are eevrything i want 'cuz you are everything i'm not. And we lie we lie together just not too close too close (close is close enough). I just wanna break you down so badly in the worst way, Well i trip over everything you say. This says you are, you are so cool. You hollow out my hungry eyes. We're gonna make damn sure, that you can't ever leave no you won't ever get to far from me.

Graffiti decorations under a sky of dust. A constant wave of tension on top of broken trust. Guilty by association. I wanna runaway never say goodbye i wanna know the truth instead of wondering why i wanna know the answers no more lies i wanna shut the door and open up my mind.

You're such a fool you're such a fool, such a fool

To all the fights i've conquered. The times have changed and i will now move over slowly. But through it all i still feel lost without you. Tiny flickers in the night, always looking to be right.

He said if you dont wanna do it then you dont have to do it. The truth is you'll be okay anyway. I lied cuz i'd know it all the while. No thankyou i dont have to pay for this shit.

All i am in holding breath. Just pick up i know you're there, cant you hear i'm not myself. Well go ahead and lie to me, you could say anything, small talk will be just fine. You're voice is everything we owe to love, and it all depends on you. So listen up, this sun hasnt set, i refuse to believe that it's only me your feeling. Just hear me out, im not over you yet. I dont wanna feel anything, but i do, and it comes back to you.

Fermez la fucking bouche.

Everybodies watching you, breathing in your every move, look around when the world is empty look around if youre guilty. Everybodies after you i wait in line to touch you. Look around if you ever miss me, look around cuz it kills me. It's over, theres nothing you can do theres nothing you can say to keep me here, it's over, you say we're just friends we'll play and pretend to keep me here
everynight i lay in bed i think about the things you said, look around i'm the one your only, look around it still kills me. Doesnt anyone care? doesnt anyone care? doesnt anyone care? Look around when your heart beats empty. I'm outta here.

I am a little bit of lonliness, a litte bit of disregard, a handfull of complaints but i can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars. I am what i want you to want what i want you to feel but it's like no matter what i do i can't convince you to just believe this is real. So i let go, watching you turn your back, face away and pretend that im not, but i'll be here cuz you're all that i got. I cant feel the way i did before dont turn your back on me i wont be ignored.

Will things every change or are we stuck here on our own. It's all gone grey.

Stop stalling make a name for yourself. Boy you better put the pen to paper and charm your way out. Welll we're just a wet dream for the webzine. Make us it make us hip make us scene. Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of rain.

I am such a sucker and im always the last to know. Every breath we ever had in common. You can thank your lucky stars everything i wished for will never come true. When you go i will forget everything about you. I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you.

Come to me like in my dreams spinning everything and all the while my bones try not to crash down
now that i know you can be everything i need. Cuz in my soul concious i feel so complete with will.

I just want you to understand. Hey, everything you are falls to the sky like a star everything you are. I'm drowning in your dizzy noise.

Tonight fly away so high. I'll breathe you in (i wont let you down) i wont hold you back (i wont make a sound) i know what scares you the most. Being alone, it's just like them, being alive, feeling so dead, at least you'll have my heart, you know you shine so bright. I've got a single silver bullet, shot right through my heart to prove i can't survive without you. Can you sleep at night (if i hold you tight) i wont let you go, please dont leave this time. At least you'll have my heart, you know you shine so bright. Tonight we'll fly alway so high, you know the moon is full and i can't live without you.

And i feel like rain when the words all sound the same in the lifeless corners of this empty frame
i dont wanna know.

You're eyes were covered in sunglases when they first met mine. I sat there and stared at you, you didnt seem to mind. The awkward ways we meet. First comes heavy breathing, staring at the celing, what will happen next i dont wanna know. I cant wait till we meet again.

Am i loud and clear, or am i breaking up, am i still your charm or am i just bad luck. Are we getting closer or are we just getting more lost. I'll show u mine if you show me yours first lets compare scars i'll tell you whose is worse lets unwrite these pages and replace them with out own words.

Can you take this broken girl and put the pieces back as one. Although she has all of her toys, she is never having fun. Because it's not enough now we're growing up. Save your sympathy, who you think you're falling everything is dead now you welcome me to a town called hypocricy.

Im sorry i heard about the bad news today a crowd of people around you telling you it's okay and everything happens for a reason. When you loose somebody you love to somebody you know, it takes alot to let go.

Maybe we, why dont we, share our hit for half an hour. We'll speak of what a waste i am and how we missed your beat again. Think about all the things i've said. We walk alone. You're almost gone. I remember your presence.

Focus on notihng, only your face, follow me closely, into the night, just one last time, turn out the lights, and when you wake up, turn out the light.

Drowning just as fast as i can. Its never been more perfect than tonight. I've never been so satisfied.

Drink down that gin and kerosene. And come spit off bridges with me. Just to keep us warm, light a match to leave me be, light a match to leave me be. And i'll keep my jealousy close, cuz it's all mine. And if you say this makes you happy then im not the only one lying. Keep quite nothing comes as easy as you can i lay in your bed all day i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake, the hand behind this pen reveals a fighter everyday. So wear me like a locket around your throat i'll weigh you down i'll watch you choke you look so good in blue.

This may never start we could fall apart and i'd be your memory. Lost your sence of fear. Feelings into tears. Can i be your memory. So get back, back, back to where we lasted just like i imagined i could never feel this way so get back back back to the disaster my hearts beating faster holding on to feel the same. This may never start i'll tear us apart could not be your enemy
losing half a year waiting for you here, i'd be your anything.

Splintered piece of glass falls in the seat gets caught, broken windows open locks reminders of the youth we lost. The time it takes it let go.

Feeling like we're cloned and we're nothing short or invincible.